Category Archives: Who Would Win in a Fight?

Who Would Win In a Fight? Ward Cleaver or Jim Anderson?

In celebration of Father’s Day this Sunday, Dark Elf Dice is proud to bring you a special edition of Who Would Win in a Fight? In honor of fathers everywhere, we bring you two of television’s most famous dads to square off toe-to-toe in a pugilistic showdown. This is a classic TV rumble, so put the kids to bed early and pop a big bowl of popcorn because this week’s hypothetical slap-down begins now and it’s time to ask:

Who would win in a fight: Ward Cleaver or Jim Anderson?

And in this corner: Leave it to Beaver’s very own Ward Cleaver!

Ward Cleaver looks like a guy who can handle himself. Sure, he sits in an office all day, but he still looks like he keeps in good shape and could slug it out with the best of them. He grew up a farm kid and served in World War II before graduating from college and marrying his high school sweetheart. He’s a classic 1950’s dad who works hard all day and wants nothing more than to come home to read the paper and eat a hot, home cooked meal. Suburban living would be easy, but every night Ward finds himself having to dispense moral wisdom to his two sons — Wally and the Beaver. The boys are forever getting into crazy mishaps and like all good fathers everywhere, Ward has to set ’em straight. And set ’em straight he does with wry humor and a gentle strictness that makes him one of television’s most enduring dads.

  • Boys, don't make me come up there!

    Strength: 14

  • Endurance: 14
  • Dexterity: 13
  • Intelligence: 16
  • Wisdom: 18
  • Charisma: 17
  • Willpower: 15
  • Special Abilities: white collar professional, handy with tools, wise as Yoda but much taller
  • Famous Quote: “Wally, believe it or not, I was your age once. ”

And in this corner: Father Knows Best‘s very own Jim Anderson!

There are a lot of similarities between Jim Anderson and Ward Cleaver. Both are white collar professionals, both live in the suburbs and both have adoring wives and children. Both men are so similar in fact it’s kind of creepy — sort of an Invasion of the Body Snatchers thing going on, almost as if they were cloned. Like Ward, Jim is a prototypical 1950’s dad who works hard all day and comes home to the paper and a hot meal. When he’s not managing his insurance business he’s fixing things around the house and dispensing pearls of wisdom to his children Betty, Bud and Kathy. He’s thoughtful, charming and well-respected by his community. Jim Anderson truly is a wonderful TV dad, but does he have the right stuff to knock Ward Cleaver flat on his butt?

  • Strength: 13

    He really does know best.

  • Endurance: 13
  • Dexterity: 13
  • Intelligence: 16
  • Wisdom: 18
  • Charisma: 17
  • Willpower: 16
  • Special Abilities: white collar professional, handy with tools, wise as Yoda but much taller
  • Famous Quote: “Bud, for your information, I look barely in my ’40s. That hardly qualifies me for the home for the aged. Yet.”

And the winner is… Ward Cleaver!

This is a great fight that goes late into the second round. Although Jim Anderson comes out swinging, he just can’t out-muscle Ward Cleaver. Maybe it’s the 10-20 pounds Ward has on him, or perhaps it’s Ward’s background as a farm kid and World War II vet. Maybe Ward simply has a better head game and psyches Jim out with that steely gaze of his. Whatever it is, Ward Cleaver takes Jim Anderson down hard with a wicked combination of lefts and rights that leaves the insurance manager flat on his back, dazed and confused. The next day at school Wally and Beaver can brag to the gang that their dad is the toughest of them all. Happy Father’s Day everyone!

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Who Would Win in a Fight? Mal Reynolds or Han Solo?

It’s Friday and you know what that means! It’s another Dark Elf Dice installment of Who Would Win in a Fight? — the blog feature where we pit two opponents in a hypothetical one-on-one brawl. Last week’s match-up was good, but this week’s is a doozy — a rock’em sock’em bout between two of sci-fi’s most beloved spaceship captains. Get ready to rumble because it’s time to ask:

Who would win in a fight: Mal Reynolds or Han Solo?

And in this corner: Firefly’s very own Mal Reynolds!

Mal Reynolds is one tough hombre. As captain of the spaceship Serenity, he’s seen more than his fair share of fights. When he’s not on the run from the Alliance, he’s hiding from Reapers, crime lords, and other baddies. All the dude wants is to keep his crew alive and keep the Serenity flying, but it’s difficult to make an honest (and especially dishonest) buck in a hostile universe where the cards seem to be constantly stacked against you.

Mal Reynolds

Don't let the good looks fool you. This guy can fight.

  • Strength: 15
  • Endurance: 17
  • Dexterity: 15
  • Intelligence: 16
  • Wisdom: 17
  • Charisma: 18
  • Willpower: 16
  • Special Abilities: military leadership skills, negotiation skills, small arms skills
  • Favorite Weapon: Moses Brothers Self-Defense Engine Frontier Model B handgun
  • Famous Quote: “There’s a lot of fine ways to die. I ain’t waiting for the Alliance to choose mine.”

And in this corner: Star War’s Han Solo!

All right guys, show of hands — who wanted to be Han Solo when they were growing up? Yeah, I thought so — most of us in the room. Han Solo lent an unmistakable air of coolness to the Star Wars franchise. Sure, Luke Skywalker was a Jedi Knight and could swing a lightsaber, but he whined like your kid brother on a long car trip to visit your Aunt Nancy. Han Solo on the other hand was a rebel with a cause — the handsome rouge with a sarcastic wit. As captain of the Millennium Falcon he stops being a loner and joins up with the good guys to kick the Empire’s butt. Remember nerf herders, there’s no “I” in “team.”

  • Strength: 15
  • Endurance: 17
  • Dexterity: 15

    Han Solo

    Definitely not a stuck up, half witted, scruffy looking, nerf herder.

  • Intelligence: 16
  • Wisdom: 16
  • Charisma: 18
  • Willpower: 17
  • Special Abilities: ace pilot, smuggler, mechanic, military experience
  • Favorite Weapon: BlasTech DL-44 heavy blaster pistol
  • Famous Quote: “I got a bad feeling about this.”

And the winner is… Mal Reynolds!

This is a monster, drag out fight that goes the full 13 rounds, finally ending in a split decision in favor of Mal Reynolds. Both opponents are evenly matched in many ways (both are captains of their own ships, both fight against the injustices of oppressive governments, etc.). In the end though, Mal’s experience gained on the losing end of the Unification War against the Alliance gives him the edge. The Firefly universe is grittier and darker than that of Star Wars and the Browncoat defeat at the Battle of Serenity Valley leaves a sour taste in Mal’s mouth. Hard to beat a guy that doesn’t have that much more to lose. Shiny!


Who Would Win in a Fight? Shredder or Wolverine?

All right ladies and gents, time to gather ringside for the first installment of Who Would Win in a Fight? Every Friday we at Dark Elf Dice hope to bring you the world’s greatest slap downs — hypothetical match ups between two opponents ready to brawl in a no-holds barred fight to the finish. This week we have a great title bout between two juggernauts of comic book fame and it’s time to ask:

Who would win in a fight? The Shredder or Wolverine?

And in this corner: The Shredder!

The Shredder: A Turtle's Worst Nightmare

If you know your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles then you know The Shredder is one bad dude. He’s the ninja leader of the Foot clan and made his first comic book appearance in 1984. He’s been kicking since your daddy’s worn parachute pants and has been the Turtles’ arch nemesis ever since. He’s strong, he’s intelligent and he sports freaking armor — samurai inspired duds with sharp spikes and Freddy Kruger blades extending from his hands. Ouch!

  • Strength: 15
  • Endurance: 15
  • Dexterity: 16
  • Intelligence: 16
  • Wisdom: 17
  • Charisma: 17
  • Willpower: 16
  • Special Abilities: crazy ninja skills, leadership skills (like Donald Trump, but without the hair)
  • Favorite Weapon: shredder blades
  • Favorite Saying: “Foot! Attack!”

And in this corner: Wolverine!

Wolverine: The X-Men's Resident Wild Man

If you’re a fan of brooding tough guys, then you gotta love Wolverine. He started in 1974 as a Canadian superhuman agent in The Incredible Hulk #181, but Wolvie will forever be known as the second-hairiest member of the X-Men (Beast being first). What’s not to love about the world’s favorite mutant? He has super healing powers, an adamantium skeleton, a bad temper that puts even the crabbiest DMV clerk to shame (“Next!”) and six razor-sharp claws that spring from the back of his hands whenever he feels the need to rumble in the jungle. Snikt!

  • Strength: 16
  • Endurance: 18
  • Dexterity: 16
  • Intelligence: 13
  • Wisdom: 14
  • Charisma: 12
  • Willpower: 17
  • Special Abilities: mutant healing powers, martial arts master, superhuman senses (sight, smell, etc.)
  • Favorite Weapon: adamantium claws
  • Favorite Saying: “Outta my way, bub.”

And the winner is… Wolverine!

On the surface this is a real compelling fight. Both opponents face off with similar weapons and a knowledge of the martial arts. It’s a spirited brawl with lots of pushing and shoving, but Wolverine takes Shredder down hard in Round 2.  Shredder is undoubtedly one nasty customer, but the ninja leader tends to let his Foot clan do the bulk of his fighting for him. He just doesn’t have the moxie to go one-on-one in a street fight with Wolverine for an extended period of time. And don’t forget, Wolvie has his mutant healing ability. Hard to keep a guy down who keeps getting back up.